Proposals of marriage are traditionally arranged to conform to heterosexual rules. The man is expected to get down on one knee and propose to his female partner. Thankfully, as same-sex marriages are becoming legalised and accepted in so many countries and societies, the idea of a ‘traditional’ marriage proposal needs to flex to fit into the LGBTQ+ community. But how can a tradition that involves heterosexual couples weave into the proposals of people of the queer community? In reality, a proposal has absolutely nothing to do with gender. A proposal is a simple declaration of love. It is a request to spend the rest of your days as partners. It is a promise to take care of each other and it should be as romantic as possible, whatever the definition of romance is in your relationship.
One element making marriage proposals different in the queer community is that of the double proposal. This sets many proposals apart, making for a celebration of LGBTQ+ relationships. It means double the opportunity for romance and gives couples the chance to make each proposal individual, specially tailored to their partners personality. While some may want to shout their proposal from the roof-tops, others may prefer a quiet and intimate expression of adoration. In this week’s blog, we explore as many options as possible to help you plan the perfect proposal.
“One element making marriage proposals different in the queer community is that of the double proposal…”
Loud and proud
The growing number of public proposal videos on YouTube is a testament to a trend. More and more people are choosing to make their proposals public. Often the chosen venues reflect a place that holds special meaning for couples. Modern proposals today often include making carefully planned arrangements so you can enlist the help of a crowd, bring staff at a venue on board or include a cleverly choreographed performance in a public place.
Proposing in the public eye can be extremely dramatic and its best to be 100% sure that your intended is as keen on the idea of marriage as you are or is happy to be in the limelight before you try one of the following. At a big sporting event – While this is a very American idea; waiting for the ‘kiss-cam’ to land on you before whipping out a ring and dropping to one knee to pop the question, there is no doubt, it is dramatic! Imagine the roar of approval from the crowd as your love says yes!
- Photoshoot in a public place: In order to capture the moment forever, hire a photographer or have a friend snap you on their phone as you make your proposal.
- Quiz night question: Are you a general knowledge buff with a love of quiz nights? Why not ask for your proposal to be included in the general knowledge round? You’ll pick up big bonus points for this clever proposal.
- Hire a singer and a band: Do you regularly enjoy watching live bands together? Ask the band to play ‘your’ song and sing the proposal as the last verse.
- Hire a flash mob: We are sure you’ve seen at least one of the many, many videos of proposals by flash mobs. This will take some planning but your proposal certainly won’t be forgotten in a hurry.
- Direct your own film dedicated to your love: How much more romantic and memorable could you get than making your own film using memories and photos from your relationship? If you want to go public with your proposal, approach your local movie theatre and ask to have it played during the trailers before a movie.
- Float your proposal: Jump aboard a float at a Pride celebration and propose or, have your very own float dedicated to your love!
Public but personal
If you would like to propose in public. A little planning beforehand will ensure everything runs smoothly. It’s a wise idea to get the staff at any venue involved so they know what’s happening. If you’d like the drama associated with proposing in a public place but romance is still super important, why not consider one of the following.
- Freeze the ring: Ask your favourite restaurant to place the ring inside a cube of ice and have it brought to the table after dinner in your partner’s favourite cocktail.
- Hot air balloon proposal: We couldn’t think of a more romantic setting, drifting high above the countryside, the perfect peaceful place to pop the question.
- Hire a plane: We’ve all seen light aircraft at air shows, why not hire one to pull a rainbow banner stating your intentions?
- Mime artist: If you’re after added drama, hire a mime artist to act out your proposal while you pop the question.
- An artistic display: Do you have a love of art? Paint your own canvas with your proposal and ask to have it displayed in your favourite art gallery. Make sure it’s personalised though so as to avoid confusion to other visitors!
- Balloon seller: At a country fair, ask the balloon seller to hold a bunch of personalised ‘Marry Me’ balloons and ‘buy’ one for your partner. You could even place the ring inside the balloon, just hand your partner a pin and ‘pop’ the question that way!
Fancy some romance?
Of course, many people prefer to keep their proposal very private, either because they want to keep the moment intimate or perhaps because grand proposals often cost as much as the forthcoming wedding!
- Location, location, location: Choose a location to propose which is important to you both. Perhaps the place you met or where you had your first date.
- Beauty and tranquility: A secluded beach, a cliff-top, at the top of a mountain, these places are generally considered to be super romantic. Add a gorgeous sun-set and the stage is set for your romantic proposal
- Picnic proposal: Imagine a blanket, some cosy cushions, a hamper full of your favourite food. Place the ring around a chocolate-dipped strawberry and your proposal is sure to be a big hit.
- Go ‘rock hunting’: On a quiet beach, get down on one knee, hold the ring box open and call your partner to ‘look at the rock I found’.
If you want to keep things really intimate, proposing at home is a great idea. If you want to capture the moment, ask a trusted friend to hide themselves away so they can pop out at the appropriate time to capture your proposal and your partner’s surprise on camera.
- Create a photo album using your favourite pictures and leave a blank space on the last page for ‘our engagement’.
- Be ‘Monica’ in the hit sit-com Friends and place candles everywhere. When your partner gets home from work, drop to one knee and hold out the ring.
Of course, you might be a creative type who wants to propose in a non-traditional way. Don’t worry, we have ideas for you too!
- Wear ‘Will you marry me socks’ and see how long it takes for them to be noticed.
- Create a clever scavenger hunt which leads your significant other around some of their favourite places, ending in a public or private place where you can make your proposal.
- Enlist the help of your friends and, at a given signal, ask them to hold up signs which state ‘Will’, ’You’, ’Marry’, ‘Me’, ‘?’
- Get your pet involved, attach the ring to their collar or have a tag made up to place there instead.
- You can’t beat a bit of ‘Love, Actually’ and the scene where Mark (Andrew Lincoln) professes his love for Juliet (Kiera Knightly) is classic. Take this idea and make it your own by making up large boards with lovely words, personalised to your relationship. End with ‘Marry Me!, all while your favourite romantic song is playing in the background.
- Have a personalised jigsaw made from a photo of the two of you and take out a piece on which you can write your proposal. Hide this missing piece in your pocket, hand it over when the puzzle is almost complete.
No matter how well thought out your proposal plans, ultimately, it’s the words you use to tell your partner how much they mean to you which will stay in their memory. Here are a few of our favourites. If you’re thinking about proposing soon or you want to share your proposal stories with us, we’d love to hear all about it!
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other”
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