Same sex weddings
How to make your wedding stand out from the rest
Same sex weddings are unique in the fact that there is a huge opportunity to completely personalIse them. It’s exciting to think that the elements you incorporate into your LGBTQ+ wedding day may become future traditions. A wedding should be a celebration of a couple’s love for each other rather than about their genders, it’s as simple as that. However marriage ceremonies have been weighted with tradition for such a long time, that it can be difficult as a same-sex couple to push all that aside and have a ceremony that really reflects who you both are. It might be that you want to incorporate some of the old rules into your day.
This is fine, but you also have a wonderful opportunity to mix things up a little, put a new spin on them and make your day a true reflection of your relationship. We’ve had a think about some of the best known wedding traditions and given a few suggestions on how you can give them a new and unique slant to make your wedding stand out from the rest.
We’ve all seen ceremonies that follow the traditional rules of wedding attire. Men dressed in suits or tails with their attendants dressed in the same style, perhaps with a different coloured waistcoat. Brides in long, flowing dresses in white or cream. However, LGBTQ+ couples recognize that these outfits may not fit their style or story. Many opt for custom suits, tuxedos or dresses in non-traditional styles and colours. Yet others choose the same dress, each in a different colour, bespoke tuxedos, or a combination of the two. Rather than buying outfits from a wedding focused shop, many couples choose to have their outfits tailored especially for them. Attendants are often asked what they would prefer to wear and then the wedding couple blend everything together with matching ties, sashes or even flowers.
The same sex wedding party
These days, it is usual for all weddings to feature a wide variety of attendants, whether they are traditional or not. The focus has shifted from having to stick to ‘The Rules’ to having only the people closest to the wedding couple involved. Often when a couple has been together for a while, they might include their children in the wedding party. If the parents of the wedding couple are no longer together, a close friend or sibling may step into the role of giving the Bride away. Best women are common and bridesmaids are no longer always female, bridesmen are now appearing more and more in the wedding line-up. All these scenarios are now seen as acceptable at traditional weddings.
For LGBTQ+ wedding ceremonies, mixed-up wedding-parties are now common, as are no wedding parties at all! If a couple has had a long journey with plenty of obstacles to overcome on their way to the altar, what could be more appropriate than being supported by the people who’ve been there for them, the whole way through. This may mean that a wedding party is made up of very close friends rather than family members. It’s a welcome and refreshing departure from what tradition has dictated.
Walking down the aisle
In the same way that unconventional wedding parties are now becoming the norm, who-walks-who down the aisle is also an area in which you can make your wedding unique. Families which are blended might have their step children walk the bride down the aisle for example. The wedding couple might choose to walk each other down the aisle or there may be no aisle at all. Some of the most touching weddings we have seen have shunned the ‘first look’ where traditionally the Groom sees his Bride in her wedding dress for the first time and instead, the wedding couple have arrived at the altar in a completely unique way.
Rather than cramming everything into just one day, recently we have seen an up-turn in wedding weekends. Wedding couples, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, have often waited a very long time to legally wed in their country. Hosting a wedding weekend where guests can attend all or part of the celebrations are becoming more and more common. It’s their way of saying “thank you” to those who have stood by them and making sure everyone feels welcome and included. These days-long celebrations are often filled with activities and large, informal meals such as BBQ’s or street food stands. The music and entertainment is varied. The activities are fun and designed to cater for everyone present. There has been a definite increase in LGBTQ+ couples marrying abroad too. This increases the opportunity for wedding weekends to be incredibly memorable.
Personalisation for Same Sex Weddings
What could make your wedding more unique than personalising every element? Themed cocktails are popular and a mixologist is likely to jump at the opportunity to create a selection of cocktails which reflect the wedding theme or the quirks of the wedding couple. This personalisation doesn’t have to stop at the drinks menu. Choose food that you both love. Ditch the formal sit down meal and allow your guests to select what they’d like to eat from buffet stations tailored to show off your favourite places in the world. Think about where you met or where you went on your first date and weave those cuisines into the food on offer. (Yes, even if you met after a big night out in the local kebab shop!)
If you’re not keen on going all out with personalising the food and drink, little elements, such as the favours on the tables can be tailored to reflect who you both are. Recently, we arranged a wedding where the favours contained a little packet of seeds gathered from wild flowers growing in the wedding couples garden. It was a sweet and touching element that really stood out.
Destination for same sex weddings
Many LGBTQ+ couples share a unique story not only of their relationship, but also of triumph. Some couples want to share this victory with all their friends and family with a big wedding celebration, but an increasing number of couples are choosing to elope and marry in a destination that means something special to them. They want to share this intimate moment between themselves or with their closest friends and family, and it makes for a beautiful love story of overcoming all obstacles. Destination weddings are a wonderful way to truly make your wedding stand out. These days, the world is pretty much your oyster when it comes to beautiful places to wed. The important thing, unless you know your chosen country very well, is to choose a destination wedding coordinator who has the knowledge and expertise to find venues and suppliers who support LGBTQ+ weddings.
As the gay wedding market is still quite new in many places, there are lots of venues and suppliers, who don’t understand the challenges which same sex couples can face. Planning a wedding is meant to be fun, no-one needs to be faced with a supplier, who makes an innocent slip up over something critical, simple because they are not yet educated enough in this area. A destination wedding coordinator can navigate all of these obstacles on your behalf, meaning that you don’t have any of the stress. The key to having your wedding stand out from the rest is to think creatively and outside the box.
There is no need to try and fit your wedding into the traditional rules, if that’s not what you both want. Are you in the process of planning your amazing same-sex wedding? I would love to talk about your exciting ideas and how we can make them a reality. Please contact me, and we can discuss your plans further. My friends actually did this!
Wow Factor, indeed !!!!
…If you liked SAME SEX WEDDINGS you could also read THE WEDDING PICTURE